親愛的爸爸 (To My Dearest Dad)

親愛的爸爸

感謝您

從不讓我「有求必應」

好讓我學會珍惜我所擁有的

感謝您

從不給我過多的零用錢

好讓我學會積蓄和節儉

感謝您

每年每月不停努力的工作

讓我體會到努力不懈的成果

感謝您

從來沒有要求過我什麼

好讓我能夠闖出我自己所要走的路

感謝您

從來沒阻止我的信仰

好讓我得到了人生最大的福份

感謝您

一路以來那無言的愛

好讓我明白到行動比說話更重要

感謝您

一路以來對我的不離不棄

好讓我生活從不缺乏

感謝祂

讓我有福氣成為您的女兒

讓我成為今天的我

爸，打從心底的感謝您，父親節快樂！

To my dearest Daddy

Thank you

For never fulfilling my every request

Such that I could learn to cherish the things I have

Thank you

For never giving me too much pocket money

Such that I could learn to be thrifty and save up

Thank you

For working hard day and night, month and year

Such that I could see the fruits of hard work and perseverance

Thank you

For never asking too much of me

Such that I could find and walk my own path in life

Thank you

For never stopping me from my faith

Such that I could obtain the biggest blessing in my life

Thank you

For loving me without words

Such that I could learn actions speak louder than words

Thank you

For never giving up on me

Such that my life has never been lacking

Thank God

For the blessing of becoming your daughter

Such that I could become who I am today

Daddy, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Happy Father's Day!

A possible reason for why my car broke down this morning...

"Gumnut! Gumnut!" My daughter cried in her car seat as she watched the garage door close. She was looking forward to a day with her little friends at the child care centre, but our car decided to go on a strike and we weren't going anywhere. Not only so, I was told roadside assistance would arrive within 90 minutes. 90.

I had tried everything I could think of to start the car. Looked through the manual, called the men, searched google, and finally, called for roadside assistance (yes, in that sequence, don't ask me why). There was nothing more I could do, and that's what I told my daughter. Needless to say, she kept crying. "Look, sweetheart, there's nothing I can do now. We can't go to Gumnut today. The car is not working... But, we could pray (what, where did I get this idea from)? We could ask God to help us (yeah right, as if He would care about such mundane things)? I don't think the car is going to start, I mean, God *can* if He wants to, but yeah, let's pray..." (italics my thoughts)

So I prayed with my daughter. I prayed that somehow, the car would start, and we would be able to get to Gumnut. Yet as I prayed, I pretty much didn't believe it would happen. Why would God answer a prayer like that?

"Alright, I'm going to try start the car one last time (I really think this is pointless). If it doesn't start, we'll have to go back into the house okay?"

Garage opening, key in ignition, key turned, headlights flicker on/off noisily, and the car remained as it was (see, as if it would miraculously start).

"Sorry sweets, car isn't working!" As I turned from my daughter and was just about to close the garage door again, I almost couldn't believe my eyes. The roadside assistance car was reversing on to our driveway!!! I looked back at my daughter, "Look! God answered our prayer! Someone is here to fix our car! Yay!"

I had not expected assistance to arrive so quickly. It was within 15 minutes of my call for sure. Of course, having roadside assistance arrive early didn't mean the car would be fixed, yet for me, I was just amazed that they arrived exactly at the time after we prayed. Now, I know you may think this is all in my head, that if I hadn't prayed, assistance would have arrived at precisely that moment anyway, and you are probably right. Yet I don't think this is about my 'prayer' working, but the fact that God allowed me, and more importantly my daughter, to experience Him. For me, I prayed with little faith (if not none!), and had an expected answer in mind (the car would start miraculously) that I didn't expect to happen. Yet the outcome was indeed out of my expectations--I didn't have to wait long for help to arrive.

I am no expert in prayer. I don't pray often enough and I haven't worked out this 'prayer' thing around my head either, but I can confidently say that God listens to and answers our prayers. Yes, even a little girl's one. I don't know whether my daughter knows what praying really means, but I hope that one day, she may remember this little incident where we prayed, and God answered.

And the end of the story? Well, it turned out that our car had a flat battery, easily fixed. We got to Gumnut safe and sound, and my daughter was able to spend a lovely day with her friends there! :-)

How has God answered your prayer today?

P.S. I'm in no way implying that prayer is useless in the sense that things will happen even if we don't pray. God can choose to work through prayer (which I think is pretty awesome), but prayer is a big topic and probably warrants another post ;-)

Little Joys

What brings a smile to your face? What instantaneously, and without warning, makes you grin from ear to ear?

For me, it has to be those little moments I share with my family. The giggles from my almost 5-month-old when his hand touches my face, the smile of my almost 2-year-old when she is pleased with herself, the picture of seeing my husband, my kids and I just enjoying each other's company and doing silly things (as you do when kids are around)--these moments are just so precious, and each moment has me exclaiming: life is good!

When my daughter calls out for me to cuddle her, and I get to hold her tight as she plays with my hair--life is good. When my son is feeding, and I can feel his warmth as he clutches my finger in his hand--life is good. When my husband and I both have one child on our laps, and we can cuddle, play and laugh together--life is good.

Yet for every moment that makes me smile, that has me thinking over and over that life is good, I am gripped with fear that these moments won't last for ever. And the reality is, they can't. For one, my children will eventually grow up, and there will come a day when they don't want to be cuddled and kissed anymore (fair enough). For another, no one can predict what would happen to the world tomorrow, or to us.

But I don't want that fear to ruin these moments--these little joys in life that make our hearts glad. I'm learning to savor every drop of them, and at the same time, learning to be trusting in the one that holds the future. When life's turmoil comes my way, I want to be able to look back and smile no matter how hard and painful life gets...

What about you? What are the little joys in your life? Treasure them, cherish them, and be thankful for them. They are life's little energy boosters :-)

My kids are not born Christians

My kids are not born Christians.

I am a Christian. My husband is a Christian. We will raise our children in a Christian (and hopefully, godly) way. But in no way would that make them Christians. Nope, not at all. Going to church, listening to Bible stories, and knowing the 'right' answer to every Sunday school question will not get them into heaven, i.e. an eternal relationship with the God who created us, loves us, and saved us.

Does this surprise you? For those who know me, you're probably thinking, "Yeah right, as if you don't want your kids to be Christians!", and you're probably right. Of course I want my kids to be Christians. But I can't force them, and it's not up to me anyway. Each of my children will have to make his/her own choice, just as I have been able to make my own choice in becoming a Christian (thank you to my parents, though not Christians themselves, who allowed me this freedom!).

I don't know how many years I'll have to wait. I might die before any of my children become Christians. My only prayer is that my hubby and I, despite our sinfulness, weaknesses and mistakes, can reflect even just a little of God's great love so that they may be drawn to want to know Him. Then love Him. Then follow Him.

Path

 

Life is a path well trodden,

But each man must walk his own.

*******************************************************

I couldn't articulate my thoughts into another poem except for the first two lines, so have given up being 'poetic' and will just type them out normally instead...

As I watched my daughter running down the path the other day, it came to my realisation that, as much as I would be reluctant to let go, my daughter must walk her own path as she grows up. As a mother it's normal to worry for your children--will they get sick, will they meet bad people and be led astray, will they be able to handle life's obstacles... The list never ends, and you worry for life, literally--well, at least I think I will. 

Yet as much as I worry, I cannot direct nor change my daughter's course of life. 

Accepting the fact that my daughter must walk her own path of life, I contemplated how she could trace and learn from the footsteps before her, and how I'd urge her to leave behind footsteps worthy of others to follow. But she is human, and she is not perfect. She will make mistakes, she will stumble and fall. The verdict? That's just the way life is. C'est la vie.

And then it came to me. There is one path that none but one had walked, and none can ever follow. It's the path that led to ultimate suffering and ultimate sacrifice. But that's not all. It also led to ultimate life. It dawned on me that, if only she can know this path, and Him who walked on it, then she would know she has never been, nor ever will be alone.

I will continue to worry--I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't. But I am comforted by the fact that the Author of Life has got everything under control, and that He will never leave my daughter's side. I can only pray that one day, she too will come to know Him and the meaning of the path He had walked.

I Remember Love

This is a song my hubby and I wrote for our parents back when we got married in 2005. The title (not to be confused with Sarah Dawn Finer's or Air Supply's songs) was inspired by a story I read in "Chicken Soup for the Soul"--a book I read back in my high school days. The story, titled "All I Remember", spoke of how the author saw her mother, who had suffered Alzheimer's Disease and passed away, in a vision. Below is a quote from the book...

"I said, 'Oh Mother, I'm so sorry you had to suffer with that terrible disease.' She tipped her head slightly to one side... Then she smiled--a beautiful smile--and said very distinctly, 'But all I remember is love.'

Those words stayed with me a long time. I remember thinking--if ever one day I forget everything, I hope I would remember love.

The love shown to us by our parents and people closest to us is what shapes us into the person we have become today. And this is what this song is about.

***************************

I remember Love
I remember your touch
The warmth of your hands
Made all pain disappear

I remember Love
I remember your gentleness
The sound of your voice
Whispering my name

If you ask me
I remember Love
Etched on my mind
An age-old picture
Whose colours never fade
Only grow richer
With each passing day

I remember Love
I remember your voice
The voice that
Today has slowly become mine

I remember Love
I remember your eyes
That saw me through all these years
Through all joys and pains

If you ask me
I remember Love
Etched on my mind
An age-old picture
Whose colours never fade
Only grow richer
With each passing day

I remember Love
I remember your tears
The tears that showed me
You really cared

We will never forget
All the times we’ve been through
Sunshine or rain
Made us who we are

If you ask me
I remember Love
Etched on my mind
An age-old picture
Whose colours never fade
Only grow richer
With each passing day

I may not remember much
I may not remember much
But I remember love.

(c) Shadow & Hub 2005

*****************

Trust

As I was watching my daughter wobble her way around the house today, it suddenly dawned on me how precious trust is in our relationship.

My baby had only just started walking about two to three weeks ago, and now goes exploring everywhere in the house she could possibly get to. With her new found skills, she also enjoys running after our cat. However, our cat isn't exactly the friendliest in the neighbourhood, and even my 17 month old knows that. It was from her running towards the cat, then running back to me and using my legs as her refuge that I realised how much trust she has in me. It is the trust that she can always go to mummy, and that mummy will be there for her to protect her, whenever she encounters something scary. There is no doubt, no second thoughts. She will go explore, yet not stray too far, and come straight back to mummy if something isn't quite right...

I treasure these moments in my heart, and I wanted to write them down before I forget. To know that my daughter trusts me so reinforces how important it is and will be for me to be worthy of her trust. Furthermore, it also made me consider my own trust in the heavenly Father. Do I trust Him like my child trusts me? I think not, and that is a lesson that I'll gladly continue to learn...

There are always times in life
When we wish we could turn back time
Take back a word we've said
Say what we should've said
Do what we should've done

Too often opportunities pass us by
But we are too busy to notice
"Tomorrow will be another day", we say
But who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Day after day, week after week
The world keeps turning
And people keep living
But for some of us
Time stood still today, if only for a moment

Let us weep, mourn, and then be silent
Then rejoice in our shared memories
And when our time comes
May we meet again to share once more...

To my friend Ben...

Ben... I was really looking forward to see you yesterday morning... I had made chocolate truffles, the ones that Meg made last Christmas, and since I ran out of white chocolate, I tried making icing for the first time in my life. I used apple & cranberry juice--you introduced me to the world of cranberries, remember, and I thought you would love the taste of the icing! As I was making it, I was just imagining how you would compliment on it--you always had a sweet tooth!

I was also looking forward to giving you your Christmas card. It's a pop-up card with a sleeping Santa on it--when I saw it I thought I just HAD to give it to you! Just wanted to tease you a bit ;-) Who told you to always nod your head during our work meetings! =P

You know, Ben, when I arrived at work yesterday I was really surprised that you weren't already in. I thought maybe you had a physio appointment and would be coming in late, so as I sat and put icing on the truffles (i didn't have time in the morning to put the icing on), I was waiting in anticipation for you to walk in the door and be pleasantly surprised! Then Dale walked in, shooed me into the conference room, and I started to have a very bad feeling. My heart started pounding and I just had the urge to rush out of the room, but I stayed. Then the CEO came in. Then he broke the news. Then I broke down... I just couldn't believe my ears... I didn't want to believe that it was true...

Ben... you are the best work buddy anyone could ever have, and I feel so privileged to have been sitting next to you and seeing you every work day during the last 2-3 years. You know, when I first found out you'll be joining us, I was worried that I might lose my job cos you are such a smart guy!!! And you are indeed smart--you picked up MFC in half a month when it took me like half a year =P But you were never arrogant--you would always encourage me even when I thought I was the crappiest programmer ever. We got along just fine, and I just loved how we could just talk to each other whenever, and share lots and lots of lollies! Our little 'pantry' was never empty (mostly thanks to you!)... We also shared lots of fun flash games, funny videos, and endless conversations about our future career and what not... Oh, and the classic Olympic hats that won us the prize at the morning tea earlier this year--how I wish I had a photo! Why did you never send the ones you had to me? =(

When we were told we had to move out of our old room, our first thought was naturally anywhere was fine as long as we could still sit together! =) Luckily we were able to, albiet with a little wall between us that you transformed into our lolly stand, with ornaments! We have yet to build the crane that would transfer lollies from one side to another, and you still owe me a bristlebot! You helped me move everything across to the new room, since I only work 10 hours a week now, just so I didn't need to waste my working hours on packing and unpacking stuff! You would always get my payslip for me and leave it on my desk--thank you so, so much...

Ben, I will never forget the times we've shared together, although it was waaaaaaaay too short... I will never forget the time when you brought back hot chips from Linfield, and we were just eating chips (for lunch?!) and chatting away... And how you demonstrated your paper dart over the field! I had just asked you to show me how you did it again last week... I'll remember fondly of the times when we had our fire exit door open to let in the breeze, your papers flying everywhere, and my little heater going... I've always wanted to get you those paper weight things, but I never saw one that I thought you'd like... After so many years, we still haven't watched Transformers together over lunch like we said we would! I'll be missing your UFO lollies, the haw flakes, jelly beans, but most of all, just having you next to me so I can chat to someone whenever I want to, instead of just staring at my computer! =P I will miss seeing your quirky inventions, and hearing your stories. I'll remember the times we had at the last 3 Melbourne Cup functions at work and your funky hats... At the first Melbourne Cup you were still working casual and we just started to get to know each other... At the second you brought your lego dinosaur hard hat and won the prize... And at the third you brought your horse hat that won the prize, again! And me? I left work with nothing, lol...

Ben, you won't know how much I'm going to miss you... I can't imagine going in to work knowing that you won't be next to me anymore... I'm so sorry that I took for granted that I'll always see you after every weekend, after every holiday. I'm really sorry... I never told you how much I appreciated your friendship over the last few years. Thank you for the little kitty you bought for me on my b'day last year... We never ended up giving it a name cos 'Kitty' has already been taken by your kitty! I'm sorry I only managed to get you a card for your b'day... I feel so slack... I wish I did more for you... I wish I shared with you more about the one thing that mattered most to me...

Ben, you will be greatly missed by all of us at work, especially by the outcomes girls and me. I wish, with all my heart, that we will one day meet again...

Farewell...